The Underground Man

Fyodor Dostoevsky, a Russian dramatist, wrote a novella called "Notes from Underground" that has been on my reading list for a while. It is considered to be the first work of existentialism. This book delves deep into the mind of an unnamed protagonist who spills his thoughts onto the pages as a way to cope with his inner turmoil. I must admit, I've picked it up a few times but ended up putting it back on the shelf because it can be quite heavy. Dostoevsky is an extremely intense storyteller. Despite its short length of around 100 pages, it's a book that demands your attention due to its profound and thought-provoking nature.

🤔 Overthinking: The Underground Man's Quandary:

Let's talk about the main character, the Underground Man. He is a lost and resentful soul. His mind is a swirling vortex of paradoxes and contradictions. It's both fascinating and a bit scary how relatable some of his thought patterns are. I mean, haven't we all caught ourselves thinking, "I'll start going to the gym once I lose some weight," or "Let's see how I do on this test before deciding how much effort to put into the class"? It's this kind of circular reasoning that keeps us stuck. And the Underground Man is a master at it. He's incredibly intelligent and capable of seeing things from all angles, yet he ends up paralyzed by overthinking. He calls it "conscious inertia" - a state of inaction born out of excessive rationalization. Maybe that is because he is paralyzed. Instead of taking action and making something of himself, he's content with sitting back and criticizing those who dare to act. He believes that only fools can achieve success while the rest of us, the thinkers, are condemned to a life of stagnation.

Check out this quote, that perfectly captures his state of mind:

“I could not become anything; neither good nor bad; neither a scoundrel nor an honest man; neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything, that only a fool can become something.”

He also wrestles with his own self-worth. He wonders, "How can a man of consciousness have the slightest respect for himself?" These thoughts permeate the first part of the book, showcasing the Underground Man's deep-seated insecurities and his inability to make a positive impact on his own life.

🎹 Men Are Not Piano Keys:

Here's where things get really interesting. Dostoevsky presents a mind-blowing idea through the Underground Man: humans are not simply puppets or piano keys to be manipulated by external forces. He challenges the notion that our actions can be reduced to a predictable mathematical formula. Imagine a world where everything we do is predetermined based on a set of initial conditions and some mathematical equations. It's a terrifying prospect, but the Underground Man rebels against this idea. He argues that even if our actions could be accurately predicted, we would intentionally act out in defiance. We would curse, and we would do the unexpected, just to prove that we are not mere puppets dancing to the laws of nature. We refuse to be reduced to a mathematical equation.

Here's a powerful quote that encapsulates this concept:

"And that is not all: even if man really were nothing but a piano-key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of simple ingratitude, simply to gain his point."

The Underground Man believes that our fundamental goal in life is to assert our humanity, to prove that we are not simply machines following a predetermined path. He claims that we would go to great lengths, even if it means causing suffering to ourselves and others, just to demonstrate our freedom of will. I can't help but think this is just some rationalization of what he has done with his life, as he refuses to live by society's standards.

🥅 The Importance of Distant Objectives:

Dostoevsky delves into the complex nature of human desires and fulfillment. He poses an intriguing question: What if we obtained everything we've ever wanted? Would it truly bring us happiness, or would we find ourselves destroying it all? Surprisingly, Dostoevsky leans towards the latter, and I find myself agreeing with this notion. It's not necessarily the achievement of our desires that brings us fulfillment; it's the pursuit itself. There's something to be said about the journey, the striving, and the obstacles we encounter along the way. A truly fulfilling life includes a healthy dose of discontentment, as it fuels our drive for improvement and accomplishment.

Here's a quote that captures this sentiment:

"Man is a fickle and disreputable creature and perhaps, like a chess player, loves the process of the game, not the end of it."

Dostoevsky suggests that if we were to suddenly have everything we desired, we might even go as far as creating problems for ourselves just to have something to solve. Perhaps it's our innate need to struggle, to suffer for the things we value, that gives our lives meaning and purpose.

💤 Dreams versus Reality:

The Underground Man is a dreamer, but his dreams are starkly contrasted with his harsh reality. In his dreams, he envisions himself as a figure of intellectual superiority, forgiving those who have wronged him and offering them friendship. He conjures up flawless philosophical arguments that make people fall in love with him. But in reality, he's treated as insignificant, as if he doesn't even exist. He's rejected and ignored by those around him. It's no wonder he retreats to the confines of his messy apartment, feeling like a mouse in its hole. The tragic part is that he still has a chance to turn his life around. At 40 years old, he's not a young man, but he is still not too old to find love and make meaningful connections. Yet, he chooses to let his life burn in the flames of his own suffering. He finds solace in his misery, both for himself and those around him.

This quote encapsulates his thoughts:

"Which is better - cheap happiness or exalted sufferings? Well, which is better?"

The Underground Man poses this question to us, inviting us to contemplate whether we would choose fleeting happiness or enduring suffering. It's a challenging question that forces us to examine the trade-offs we make in our pursuit of fulfillment. Suffering can be a great source of meaning, as said by Viktor Frankl in "Man's Search for Meaning."

🦥 Conscious Inertia versus Laziness:

The Underground Man prefers conscious inertia over laziness. It's not that he's lazy and doesn't want to do anything; it's a deliberate act of rebellion against societal expectations. By embracing conscious inertia, he can be pitied by others, who may say, "Oh, he's just lazy." It's a way for him to indulge in his vices and find comfort in the sympathy of others. It's a statement of defiance against a world that demands productivity and action. It is also pride in his intellectual superiority, if he understands both parts of an argument then acting for one is a contradiction.

Here's a quote that captures his sentiment:

"I reached the point of not being able to desire anything, and though it was impossible, I longed to be ill with consumption or something else, so that I could sit and be pitied without stirring a finger. Really, it seems to me there could be no better situation in the world."

This was my glimpse into the complex world of Dostoevsky's "Notes from Underground." It's a profound exploration of human nature, filled with paradoxes and existential questions. Whether it's the trap of overthinking, the defiance against predetermined paths, the allure of distant objectives, or the battle between dreams and reality, Dostoevsky challenges us to contemplate the complexities of our own lives. It's a book that lingers in your mind long after you turn the final page.