Everything is F*cked-A Book about Hope
Impression:
Everything is f*cked is a book about why hope is flawed. It talks about the inadequacy of conditional thinking. The ideas in this book are aligned with the Buddhist teaching; suffering comes from desires and expectations. Having expectations is conditional. You are doing something because you want a desirable result. For example, we study in hopes to get a good grade. We work hard and feel like we deserve it, but ultimately grades are not in our control. Then we suffer in case we don't get a good grade. I think there is nothing wrong with having expectations, but we should not put too much emphasis on them. We are entitled to our labor, not the fruits of our labor.
A note on Self-Discipline:
What is self-discipline? Is it to do the things we promised ourselves regardless of how we feel? That is what it looks like on the outside. Forcing ourselves to do the things is not a productive way to live. In the book, Mark talks about our two Brains.
1) Thinking Brain, the part that makes the to-do list in the morning. 2) Feeling Brain, the part that procrastinates and doesn't do most of the items on that list. In this scenario, our thinking and feeling brains are not on the same page.
The feeling brain is always in charge. The thinking brain only gives directions. So, a new definition of self-discipline would be to feel some positive way about the things that we do daily. Self-discipline is investing more time into understanding what gives us a sense of fulfillment.
To-do lists should not feel like chores that you have to do even though you don't want to, but things that you cannot wait to do today because they make you feel content.
Kohlberg's theory of moral development:
In the book, Mark talks about how people grow morally; This reminded me of Kohlberg's theory of moral development that I studied in a psychology course. According to this theory, there are 3 stages of moral development:
1) Pre-Conventional Morality: This constitutes the earliest stage in Kohlberg's theory. Punishment and Obedience define pre-conventional morality. As children, we do not do things because they will make mom unhappy. Our decisions are based on the fear of punishment and the joy of approval.
2) Conventional Morality: This stage is defined by the acceptance of social norms. What society deems as right or wrong is accepted without much thought or questioning. According to Kohlberg, conventional morality is not the highest form of morality, but I believe it is extremely instrumental in keeping social order so that we can live in stable society.
3) Post-Conventional Morality: Individuals with post-conventional morality have their own moral compass. They are not bound by societal standards. Decisions are based on what the person deems as universal truths instead of what others say is true or false. This plays nicely into unconditional thinking. You do not do something for the desired results. You do something because it is the right thing to do regardless of the consequences.
